Posted in Random Thoughts

Exploring Stoicism

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

So I’ve been reading self help books a lot on micro learning sites where they condense them down to their basic points. Let’s face it, self help books have a lot of filler. But aside from mindfulness, stoicism comes up a good amount of time.

Stoicism is basically about being virtuous with self control, courage, justice and wisdom being the cardinal virtues. It encourages you to control what you can and accept and let go of what you can’t.

They categorize things as things you can control (your thoughts feelings actions), things you can partially control(your body, your possessions), and things you can’t control(other peoples thoughts feelings and actions).

I’ve always valued wisdom and justice higher than anything else and while I have trouble with them, I do acknowledge courage and self control as important virtues. This makes stoicism an ideal life philosophy for me.

I’m not a hundred percent sure that our thoughts and feelings are completely under our control though. There’s so much ingrained in our subconscious from our upbringing that just come out whether we fully believe it or not, and there are emotions we feel that are preprogrammed even just by biology.

But I do believe that while we cannot completely control them, we don’t have to be controlled by them. By examining our thoughts and emotions with reason and without judgement (yes mindfulness), we can slowly learn to dissect them and alter our responses to them.

I really like the emphasis on wisdom and self reflection in taking control of one’s self and ones behaviors. While doing so is often more complicated than just a matter of will, I do believe it’s not only possible but our responsibility to align ourselves and our actions with these values.

I think the practice of mindfulness and the philosophy of stoicism are highly compatible. Mindfulness encourages acceptance and observation of reality and so does stoicism. They both value self awareness as well. Stoicism may be a little optimistic about our capacity for self control, but mindfulness counters this with the acceptance of thoughts and feelings that may not be virtuous or accurate or helpful, without saying they’re right.

Mindfulness, to me, is also about the main virtue of love for self and others. While this is considered a subset of either wisdom or justice in stoicism, I forget, I feel it’s far more important and deserves to be its own virtue entirely.

I’ll keep on exploring these things and hopefully form my own unique philosophy of living. Or probably not. I may end up where many other people have wound up before. Who knows? I hope this was informative in some way. Have a good day.

Posted in Mental Health

Daily prompt 10/29

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

What’s one thing you own that holds deep sentimental value?

The preemie diaper I saved from when my twins were born. They were born four months premature and were only a couple ounces. The preemie diaper was too big for them. Dwarfed them really. That was twelve years ago. They’re doing great now but I still have it as well as their hospital bands and baby footprints from Valentine’s day.

Posted in Major Irritation, Mental Health

God/Energy/Quantum Physics Are Not Genies

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

One thing that annoys me a little are the self help things that claim some sort of mystical entity will grant you what you desire if you put enough desire, optimism or positive energy out there. Manifestation, quantum physics, energy wavelengths and even religion are being treated that way.

In quantum physics yes there is a string theory that says everything is made up of vibrating strings, but how they got ‘that will bring you wealth and happiness if you try hard enough’ out of that I don’t know. And energy, yes every living being puts out energy and we’re all less solid and more expensive than we think, but where did they get the idea that 1. We control that energy and 2. We can bring our dreams and goals to fruition with them? Don’t even get me started on people treating God like a genie.

This sort of thing is downright despicable because it puts all the blame for not getting your desires, wealth, happiness etc on the person. Because they didn’t believe hard enough. Because they weren’t happy enough or grateful enough or good enough of a person. Or they didn’t want it hard enough.

Life doesn’t work that way! Luck plays such a huge role in success. Do the people who succeed work hard, have talent, deserve their success? Usually yes. But as many people who don’t succeed work just as hard, have just as much talent or more and would deserve success just as much. It’s a pretty much a requirement for success, but not because it guaranteed it. It’s a requirement because without it you can’t step through the door luck opens for you. Some people just don’t get opportunities and it’s not their fault.

Alot of these concepts do often give good advice though, just for the wrong reasons. The reason the advice often works is because of cause and effect, natural consequences, and basic behavioral science, not because the universe wishes you well. The universe has a bias, it’s biased towards life just not your life in particular.

You can make your life better. You can make yourself happier. You can prepare yourself for opportunities that come your way and yes even prepare yourself to recognize opportunities you might not have before. But it’s based on what we have learned over a long period of time. Tested with repetition and now the scientific method. Maybe we don’t know why it works, but when it doesn’t it’s not your fault.

If you have anxiety and deep trauma meditation may be bad for you. If you’re clinically depressed, all the gratitude statements in the world will do is make you feel bad for not being happy when you have so much to be grateful for. If you’re in an abusive relationship or currently undergoing intense trauma or bullying, you have every right to be miserable about it. Or angry. If you fail over and over again that’s okay. You don’t have to be happy about that either. And it probably isn’t your fault.

Everyone does the best they can with the information and resources they know they have. Words can hurt you without your permission especially as a child and so can violence. Your body might malfunction for unknown reasons mentally or physically. It doesn’t matter how much you believe, or want or put energy out or how you attune to the vibration of quantum strings.

That’s not to say you can’t get better and things can’t get better, but look around. Don’t read just one book of self help. Read them all. You’ll see a pattern. So far I’ve noticed gratitude, mindfulness, exercise, a healthy diet, and taking tiny steps are repeated for quite a lot of things. I probably missed some things but start from there I guess. Read up on them, find out why they work, how they work. Or just trust that they do and try it. It’s up to you. See a psychiatrist and take meds too if your brain chemistry’s permanently fucked up for some reason like mine is.

Well that’s what I have to say about this. It’s just been bothering me since I’ve been studying self help stuff, that’s all. I hope this is of help to someone. Have a good day.

Posted in Mental Health

Multipurpose Habits

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

I’ve been reading a lot of non fiction books. Self help mostly. Productivity, happiness, habits, success etc and there a few things they all seem to have in common. Exercise, eating well, gratitude, tiny steps, and mindfulness. Apparently all five are basically self help panaceas.

It makes sense. Exercise is good for both body and brain. I’m constantly fidgeting as I write and go out for walks when I’m consumed by anxiety. I love swimming too though I rarely get a chance to. I hate other exercise though and can’t seem to keep it up on my own in any other way.

Eating well keeps you healthy and at premium functioning too. Eating poorly does the opposite. For example I ate half a key lime pie today and got sick to my stomach. Whereas eating fruit peps me up. And having a protein rich breakfast helps me start the day out better.

Gratitude…. Well. I have clinical depression. My happiness baseline is set on ‘meh’ and that’s actually an improvement. Gratitude, while I can do it, it doesn’t have much effect on me. Apparently you can be grateful and miserable at the same time. And then you feel guilty about being miserable because you have so much to be grateful for because that’s what depression does for you. But maybe it just takes longer to do in these circumstances so I’m going to keep trying. I mean it won’t exactly do me harm.

Mindfulness is a big one. Just learning to live in the moment and accept things as they are without judgement is a game changer. It alters your brain in so many positive ways and you don’t need anything special to do it. Though I do love incense cones. There are so many benefits I forget them all. It’s just hard to do when you’re stressed so you have to practice when you’re not too.

Finally tiny steps, micro habits whatever you call them are the new big thing. You make the task or first step so small you barely need any energy at all to do it. Like I managed to put all my clean clothes away by just taking five hangers at a time (I hang up all my clothes. It’s easier to see and go through) and changing my sheets I start (while still lying in my bed) to put the notebooks and books and laptop down on the floor next to my bed, clearing it off. Then I kick off my comforter and pillows then change the sheets. Easy peasy, energy efficient steps I barely need any energy to do which is good because my depression takes away a lot of my energy.

You can apply the micro steps to anything else too. Exercise? Do it for one minute then add another minute each week. That gets you almost to an hour a day after a year. Mindfulness? A minute of meditation. Gratitude. One thing you’re grateful for. Eating well add or replace something with one fruit or vegetable. You have writing goals, write one sentence, or even just one word and go from there if you can.

These things all seem to just give you a better life in general. They come up everywhere. Even in mental health and basic self care. I’m not going to say it’s easy, but they’re obviously effective and micro habits make things easier to handle when you’re trying to make these changes. Try it out. Or look it up. The library has a lot of online books you can read or do micro learning on apps like Deepstash where I got most of my info.

I hope this helps anyone even just a little. Have a good day.

Posted in Mental Health

Daily Prompt 10/21

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

What’s something you’ve done that you never thought you could?

Waitressing. My short term memory is terrible and I never thought I’d be able to memorize the menu or get the orders right but I did okay.

Posted in Mental Health

Daily prompt 10/09

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

Tell us about your morning routine.

I wake up at around 630 and get up and dressed around seven thirty when I take my medication. I get ready for the van to my day program which comes at eight thirty and at nine I eat breakfast. That’s pretty much it.

Posted in My Writing

A Gifted Amatuer

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

I’m smart and I learn quickly. I always have been this way. I get bored quickly too. After a couple months of productivity I become restless and move onto the next project sometimes not even finishing the latest one. It’s not a problem though because I do this with my hobbies.

With most things I try I’m a gifted amateur. Mostly because I don’t have the passion to become more than that and I’m largely satisfied with that. I don’t mind being a jack of all trades. But I’ve come to realize that when it comes to my writing I may just be no more than a gifted amateur there too.

I say this because I wait for inspiration, which is apparently a big no-no for being a professional writer. You’re supposed to write a little each day no matter what because it’s work, hard work. But no when I’m done writing I’m just done, worn out and that’s all there is to it.

Of course this is usually because in my bursts of inspiration I wrote two or three books at a time, within a couple of months, and I burn out. I’ve written 30 books this way. Nothing traditionally published yet because I’m a coward, but I’m working on it. And I’m putting some stuff up on Amazon Kindle praying for luck because I can’t afford advertising.

I mean I’ve sold a couple ebooks so technically I’m a professional, and it’s not like my books are lacking. They’re just kind of different. I don’t really use classical literary devices. I don’t have a whole bunch of knowledge in any particular subject to show off and I write in the first person present tense for the entire book with the events happening in real time. And I know that’s weird.

But I love writing. And I love reading what I wrote and I love other people reading what I wrote. I guess that’s what’s really important, not whether I’m doing it right or wrong or if I’m professional enough or something. I just wish more people would read my stuff.

Posted in Goals

Plans of days gone by

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

The daily prompt made me think of it, but I used to have so many plans and ideas of things I could do. Ways I’d reform the system. Now I’m just struggling with living day to day beyond even what most people have to, though I’m blessed with a lot of help but social and government aid.

I had an idea for renovating condemned houses where the people who want the houses would contribute time and labor to build it and others houses themselves or do community service of some kind. This would help people without jobs get decent housing. I had a whole plan with regulations and such to to motivate people and reassure others that it was NOT a hand out and it’d be available to everyone who needed a permanent residence.

I had an idea for a large apartment complex for transitional housing fully furnished with sections for the elderly and for college students singles and families and guests too. The first floor would be let out to a grocery store, and a pharmacy and necessary stores. Plus a doctor’s office and a place for DSS to set up a branch. There’d be a child care co-op and a cafeteria where you could buy meals for cost. And a study area for kids with a tutor to help with homework. Jobs would be prioritized for residents and it’d be thirty percent of their income no matter how little. I called it Fahrudeen village.

And I designed apartment complexes and a system of business where everyone made seventy thousand a year no matter what with only the perks and benefits increasing as you went up the ladder with raises that match cost of living increases.

I had so many ideas and was able to do absolutely nothing because of my depression and anxiety. And the fact that I’m poor with only a partial college education. I wish I was rich so I could actually do these things. I wish I was healthy so I could at least take care of myself but life doesn’t always go the way you want it to.