So this morning, I had a bit of an accident. I missed a steps and fucked up both my feet. It was a stupid unbelievable accident. I was sitting in the doorway waiting for my ride. I was playing my game so I had my glasses off, on the top of my head. They came and I got up stepped forwards going to pull my glass on and wham missed step. My ankle twisted on the ground and scraped the fuck out of my right leg and my left big toe got slammed on the step I missed straining it and most of the front half of my left foot.
Now, I figured out what happened. And no it wasn’t because of my glasses. It was because I was sitting on a different doorstep than I was used to sitting on. The one I was used to sitting on was only one step. Sidewalk then step up to the door step. The one I was sitting on today, had two. Sidewalk, go up a step, then step up again to the doorway. So I not only did forgot about the second step, I was rushing so my stride was so wide I missed it almost entirely with my right foot, and my left foot slipped down colliding with the second step toe first.
That was my first screw up of the day. See, my first thought was to call my residential person to come get me and take me to a doctor. But the ankle and toe didn’t hurt nearly as bad as the scrapes on my leg so I figured it wasn’t that bad. I have resilient, bendy ankles anyways and if I’d broken anything surely it’d hurt way worse than a simple scrape. It was probably just a mild strain and a bruised big toe. So instead after receiving some first aid on my worst scrape, an entire layer of skin off nnnnnñ8j jjij j j they. Iibi. Iibi inn îgnug., mm mm. N. I’ll buy front of my ankle, I got on my ride and went to my day program.
It felt like the right decision as I was able to walk on it and it didn’t hurt more than the freaking scrapes did. I was going to be sitting down all the time anyway. It continued not to hurt, and I was able to walk on it without too much discomfort. It was uncomfortable sitting, feet flat on the ground, but not painful. The worst I felt wasbb like I was wearing socks that were a little too tight. Apparently that’s not a good thing to be feeling. Especially when you’re not wearing socks.
So its time to go home. I get on the van and get home and try to call for my ride. No one picks up. No one responds to my messages, even the one where I told them I needed to go to patient first because I fucked up my ankles. By the time the worker who got me home was working I was hot tired, sore awauubbububbbubbu jububbbubnted to go home and lie the fuck down. It was only a twenty to thirty minute wait to get picked up from the parking lot, but it felt like so much longer and it was hard to find a place to sit and a comfortable way to sit. My feet safely like the socks were getting a little tighter.
When I got home, I took off my shoes at the door as usual, which was hard because I usually use my feet to kick them off and that was just a bad time. I couldn’t bend over to take them off and I was too stupid to just wait until I got inside to sit down and take them off. Of course that was also laziness because walking to the dining room to sit down and take off my shoes would also mean that I would have to walk back to out them outside the door. More walking on sprained foot and ankle. No better to just suffer kicking them off. When I got my left shoe off I noticed that the big toe I thought was only a little stubbed, was attached to a massively swollen front top half of my foot.
But still just wanting to lie the fuck down, I got two small plastic bags of ice, and some ice cream from the freezer because hurt equals sick which means ice cream. Then went upstairs to my room. My room is in the second floor aka the attic. Holy mother of god that was difficult. Walking on my left foot was doable before because I just put my weight on the outside edge of my foot and heel. You can’t do that with stairs. I considered crawling up them but my skin was raw from the scrapes still and that would have hurt even worse. So like with taking off my shoes, I just powered through it.
I made it up the stairs and into bed where I used scarves to tie the ice bags onto my strained/sprained damaged areas of my feet. It worked pretty well. But the ice didn’t do shit for my swollen left foot. My less swollen right ankle didn’t exactly change much, so maybe it helped that one? I’m not sure, but I managed to get some ice and ice water to drink out from it when I was done so that was nice.
After five hours of resting and icing my poor limbs, I had to get up to go to the bathroom Holy Fuck was not going to the doctor a mistake. I can’t believe I even questioned whether I should or shouldn’t go to my program tomorrow, much less refused to go see a doctor. Luckily I have a desk and office chair with wheels in the alcove next to my room and the bathroom. So the way back, I just sat and rolled. I can get around okay upstairs that way but it won’t help with the stairs. But tomorrow I’ll definitely be going to the doctor.
I’ll have no problem getting down. I can just scoot down on my butt. Getting back up will be a problem. But hopefully tomorrow my leg will have scabbed over properly and I can crawl up on my hands and knees without too much pain. my worker brought my meds up to me tonight, but I’ll have to go down tomorrow morning. I’ll have the worker take me to the doctor then, but that brings up another problem.
I have to eat with my morning meds and that’s going to be a problem. I cant cook like this, I don’t have food that doesn’t need cooking, and even if I did I would rather starve than go up and down the stairs three times a day with my legs like this.
And we just lost fucking power.
Oh thank God it was just a blip or something. I was about to scream. But I am even more exhausted now as well as waiting for the internet to come back on, which it better or I will scream. I’ll probably write more tomorrow, having nothing better to do and needing an outlet right now. My only friend is dead, and I don’t want to bother my mom, so you guys are it I guess. I’m going to read manga. Good night
My Gordian Knot 