Category: Behavior

Posted in Behavior

Dealing With Boredom

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

Boredom is no fun. Sometimes there’s just not enough to do, or what there is to do is just not interesting, engaging, or entertaining enough to hold your attention. This can be a problem at school, at work, and at home. Those with active and curious minds, especially have difficulty with boredom but anyone can feel it.

There are tons of ways to deal with the kind of boredom that involves having nothing to do, but when you have things you’re supposed to be doing, you can’t really do many alternatives. Sometimes taking a small break might help. Go for a walk to get the antsy feeling out with a little exercise. Do something challenging like a word puzzle, especially a hard and frustrating one so that your brain gets worn out and you can go back to the boring stuff with relief more than dread.

Sometimes you can just switch tasks to something more stimulating and save the boring stuff for a little later. Of course, if it’s still boring then you can add some stimulation to it. If you have to study some pages or reports, take notes, summarizing the main points and writing down any questions you may have. Look up related information so you can be better informed. Another way of adding stimulation is to listen to familiar music, nothing new as it might grab all your attention and you only want to grab part of it. The same with fidget toys and kinetic puzzles. Chew gum, but don’t blow bubbles or you’ll bother other people.

Another thing to try is to learn to be mindful. Take a moment and pay attention to your surroundings, note what’s going on, what isn’t, what the papers feel like, the height of your desk or the pile of papers you need to get through. Calm your mind. Drink some decaffeinated coffee and note the taste, the warm feeling of the cup, the smell, and once you feel centered and refreshed go back to what you were trying to do. Most importantly don’t fight the feeling. Sometimes boredom is trying to tell you something. Consider the root cause and try journaling for a moment to help work through it. Sometimes though, you just have to push through it and do what you have to do. That’s no fun, but once you’ve gone through the other options there you are.

I hope this has been of some use to you. If you have any comments, questions, or criticisms, please feel free to post them below. Have a good day and remember Better Not Perfect.

Posted in Behavior

Introversion Vs. Extroversion

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

While this may not seem like it has much to do with your mental health. It’s a good idea to know your proclivities. It helps reduce stress, let you know what to do to recharge and where you work best. Plus it’s good to know the difference so you can be considerate of other people with different needs.

Introverts

  1. Introverts tend to focus inward, drawing energy from solitude and reflection.
  2. They find social situations draining and prefer less frequent or smaller social interactions.
  3. They take more time to reflect and process information internally before making a decision.
  4. They tend to avoid confrontation and process their emotions internally
  5. They prefer a more independent work environment and have a natural preference for quiet and focused environments.
  6. They find energy in solitude and quiet reflection. This is not isolating if it recharges you.
  7. They seek less stimulation and value deep experiences
  8. They value one on one friendships and may be more open that way than in a group.
  9. They dislike being the center of attention.

Extroverts

  1. They are energized by social interaction and external stimulation.
  2. They draw energy from being around others and engaging with the external world.
  3. They enjoy and thrive in a social setting
  4. They make decisions more quickly, often relying on intuation and external feedback.
  5. They prefer to confront people more directly and openly
  6. They excell in a team-oriented role and enjoy collaborative work.
  7. They seek greater stimulation and value broad experiences.
  8. They have a large social network and thrive in teams and crouds.
  9. They very much enjoy being the center of attention.

While Introversion and Extroversion are the polar ends of the spectrum, it’s possible to share characteristics of both at once or at different times. While I’m definitely an extreme introvert, there are just as many different kinds of people on the introversion/extroversion spectrum.

I hope this has been of some use to you. If you have any comments questions or criticisms, please feel free to post them below. I hope you have a good day and remember, Better Not Perfect.

Posted in Behavior

Hidden Messes

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

I’ve been cleaning my room and it hasn’t been fun. It’s mostly fine. A little cluttered but it always is. The biggest problem is that I’ve been tackling the hidden messes, the ones that can’t be seen and won’t be seen when I’ve finished, either. It’s kind of a thankless task, but I’m doing it in hopes that I find my incense burner. Plus Since I have energy I’ve been cleaning stuff sometimes when I have nothing to do.

It’s amazing how many hidden messes there are. My closet, my storage boxes, my nightstand drawers and clutter everywhere on every surface. It builds up so fast it’s unbelievable. I’ve kind of been operating under the ‘if the floor is clean the room is clean’ principle. But I’ve been getting bored, you know. I have so much time and so little to do that’s stimulating and I feel restless every now and then. It’s a little irritating.

I hate noticing these things. I either don’t notice anything or I notice everything and I hate noticing everything. There’s always so much to do when it comes to cleaning. And my room is so dusty! It’s unbelievable, everything gets covered with dust so fast. I go through baby wipes like nobody’s business. And yes I use baby wipes instead of clorox wipes. I figure if it can clean a baby’s bottom, it can clean counters and surfaces just fine.

I guess it’s not a bad thing that I’ve been cleaning more, but it is weird. I am so far out of my comfort zone, but it’s a good thing. I make sure to take lots of breaks and fill my time with fun stuff as well as things like cleaning. Though I have to admit it is really satisfying to get things done and have them nice and clean and organized. Though half the time, when cleaning those hidden messes it makes the room a mess as well until I get it done. Ah, well, it’s an improvement. I know it is. I just wish it didn’t feel so weird.

Posted in Behavior, Major Irritation, Mental Health

The Mind of the Abused

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

I hate to admit it, but I think I’m stuck mentally. I live in fear of unreasonable punative measures, retaliation, uncharitable interpretations and having my basic needs not met if I piss somebody off. Usually the person I’m dependant on in some way. And often that fear turns into hopeless despair and I can’t do anything but try to comply whether it’s reasonable or not. Everything feels like a punishment and my anger or resistance ends up being nothing more than a swan song.

Last night I got angry because I was told to give back my meds because I had to be monitored from now on. I wasn’t given an explanation and I knew that being monitored was for people who don’t take their meds, either because of willfully refusing, or being unable to remember. I thought it was maybe a punishment for something I said to the social worker at my program that got back to her. Not that I said anything much just frustration with the pharmacy not delivering my medicine for three days and how both I and my worker forgot to pack me sunday night so I ended up not having any meds monday morning because I realized it when I thought it was too late for anyone to get there.

It felt like a punishment. But it isn’t. It’s procedure. And I forgot about that. The mistake was packing me in the first place. Sure Rosa didn’t get monitored when she came back from the hospital but when she came back, she had covid so staff just kept away for weeks. It’d been so long since I’d been in the hospital I forgot about it then too. I still felt it was unfair and doing something just to be saying they did something,then. It still felt like a punishment, then, because being monitored means you’ve done something wrong and I didn’t this time. And doing it when I’ve just gotten better is frustrating.

How long am I going to struggle with this? How long am I going to feel punished when things aren’t punishments. How long will I get frustrated by useless incomvenient measures and end up just feeling helpless to do anything about it. And the even more frustrating thing is that I don’t know if my abuse victim mind is the part that’s telling me to get upset or the part telling me I don’t have the right to get upset and to calm down. I know it’s the part that just feels hopeless despair at my own powerlessness in the situation and wants to burst into tears as I force myself to just accept the situation and stop resisting.

I don’t know what to do. How do I learn how I should be feeling or how to correctly interpret things outside the lends of abuse. I haven’t been abused for years. which feeings should I trust? What interpretations of their motivations. Do I actually have any power in the situation? Does it matter what I want or don’t want? It’s just… I need to start the routine while I’m feeling better, before I settle into a routine here again and my taking my medication myself needs to be part of that routine. Telling me that I’m more or as helpess now than before I went into the hospital is incredibly disempowering and discouraging and depressing. I feel like I’m being treated like a willful child. But is that correct? And what can I do about it, if I am? Especially when I”m having trouble with my emotions.

Nobody listens to you when you’re emotional, but I’m feeling my emotions again for the first time in a long time and I’m not sure what to do with them or how to express them. Even good feelings I sometimes misstep or say something thoughtless or stupid that I didn’t mean to. Emotionally I feel like I’m stuck as a teenager. It’s frustrating and it also means no one will take me seriously if I’m at all emotional. What do you do in that situation. Maybe PHP will help me figure it out.

Posted in Behavior, Finances, Mental Health

Woke? Lazy? Crazy? Broke?

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

               Its taken an absurd amount of time to decide what order to put those words in. I’m still not sure they’re in the right order but I can’t figure out what the best one is. Lazy crazy broke woke?. Woke broke lazy crazy? lazy crazy woke or broke?  Broke crazy lazy woke? Definitely not crazy woke broke lazy. I know that much but lazy broke crazy woke? Maybe? Aggghhh who the hell knows? Its probably not even a matter of ‘or’ either.

              Of course none of that indicates that this is me thinking about getting a job or not. I’m definitely broke. That’s not going to change, even if I get a job. I’ll get to keep maybe 10% of my income after taxes, child support and paying my residential program. So maybe 2 an hour net pay. I have conflicted feelings about whether or not I want to do that. It just doesn’t seem worth it., Really.

             But I feel like by not working, I’m just being lazy. Everyone has to work or their worthless. Not my feelings of course but the inescapable opinion of everyone with any money in capitalism. If you’re poor and don’t work, you’re worthless and immoral. Granted I am crippled by disability, but it’s an invisible emotional disability that cripples me by draining me if the will to exist or move or act on anything so it doesn’t count and I just need to think positive and am being lazy and stubborn and willful about it. (I don’t think that of literally anyone else but find it hard not to believe of myself somehow)

               So that takes care of the lazy and crazy part. as well as the broke, but why is woke in. The mix? Because everyone’s on fucking strike. Every job sucks. Every employer is a hellbound slave-driver willing to sacrifice the lives of their employees for profit and it’s really really obvious now. I probably could get hired very easily Right now if I applied somewhere for unskilled labor, but that’s because everyone’s dying off in or quitting those industries because nonhuman should work under those conditions much less for that pay. I agree with this so if I did go get a job I’d be a scab. plus I’d be treated horribly in a job that could kill me and more likely, my elderly diabetic roommates, with covid or something. So the thought that I’d get a job is practically heretical given the circumstances

            So really I’m kind of stuck in a no win position. I’m selfish for not working. I’d be selfish for working. I’d be stupid for working. I’d be  immoral both for working and not working. I’m lazy for not working, and am probably lazy in general because I can’t seem to do shit. My nonphysical disability makes me crazy, technically, but I’d have to be crazy to voluntarily work under these conditions unless I have to so I’m crazy no matter what. I feel like I’m trapped in a maze of judgement And poverty with no way out. Granted I’m privileged in that I have a stable home with food and clothing and sanitation, but I’m considered as worthless as one who doesn’t. That’s exhausting to think about. I’m going to go lie down.

Posted in Behavior, Creativity, Mental Health, Random Thoughts

A Hard Question

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

       So I’ve been having more and more energy back lately. I’ve been eating less sweets, cooking more actual food and taking probiotics which helps alot. The problem with this is that it leaves me with more energy than things to do with it. That’s not to say that I don’t have things to do, but it’s hard to decide what to do. Its elven harder to decide to do what I need to do.

      I’ve generally accepted that along with depression and anxiety, I have some pretty serious executive dysfunction. Just thinking about tasks make me feel heavy and pinned down and restless at the same time. That’s said, there’s not often much that needs to be done. Scheduling never works great for me so I decided to try something different this time. Instead of making a Todo list exactly, I ask myself what do I want out of today, and answer that and then try to do it.

    But it’s getting harder and harder to answer. Increasingly I don’t know what I want out of the day except not to be bored and make it through the day without going crazy. There isn’t anything I want or need to do most of the time. What then? How do I organize my time then? How do I think of things to do?

     I saw a TED talk on someone who randomized their life by making algorithms to randomly chose what they would do eat or even live. My first thought was, well that’s great, but what about someone who’s fucking poor and disabled and can’t go anywhere or spend any money? The second thought was, could I do that with all the stuff I have to do at home? Get a random generator and fill it up with options and then just randomly choose? Probably. I already downloaded the random list generator.

    I guess it’d be interesting to try. Maybe to just force myself to do what is suggested. I dunno. Its not as if I don’t have options. I have all sorts of crafty things. Beads embroidery coloring books yarn, crochet, etc. I’m even getting some old college textbooks in the mail soon to study on nutrition, psychology, Spanish, and… And something else, I can’t remember. But I suppose when I’m bored it can’t be any worse of a way to find something to do than just waiting until I think of something.

Of course now I have to fill out the lists. Uggghhhhhh. Well making myself do things I only sort of feel like doing is good for me. Builds character and all that. Man part of me wants to just run or wiggle or do something. I feel like I’m going stir crazy. I wish I had a basketball hoop in the yard. And a basket ball. And something to keep the basketball from running all the way down to the road. I dunno. Maybe a soccer ball. Agghh I want to MOVE! I’ll have to add some physical activities to the lists too. Or make a list of physical activities.

Well, I guess I’ll get to it. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Posted in Behavior, Major Irritation, Minor Irritation

Resentful

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

           I don’t really want to go to my program. I spend two to three hours at least waiting and traveling to go to a one hour program and come home. I leave around nine thirty and get home between one and two. The program is ten thirty to eleven thirty. Sometimes with a shopping trip which can be useful, but alot of the time is spent waiting outside for rides to come. I’m not getting paid for this. It does absolutely nothing for me. I learn nothing new. I don’t want to do it.

           My residential program wants me to do it very much. They insist on it. So the fact that their half of the ride to my program cannot be contacted and has not come for the last several weeks is pissing me off. I’m expected to call everyone when this happens even though I get no answer at all and if I do, not in a timely fashion.

        I am fully aware that this is a bratty possibly entitled position to take, but there is a limited amount of effort I’m willing to put into doing something that does not benefit me at all that I don’t want to do in the first place. That amount of effort certainly does not include doing more than the people who insist on me doing it who are getting paid to do it as their fucking job. It is not my job to make sure staff does their job. I don’t work for them.

         I hate this. I’m probably going to try and find another program closer to where I am that can pick me up. This really isn’t working.

Posted in Behavior, Major Irritation, Mental Health, Minor Irritation, Physical Health, psychology

House of Mouses: Morning Madness.

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

         I’m losing my goddamn mind. Part of it is because my medication seems to no longer be doing shit for me. But part of it had to be because my goddamn house has recurring cases of bedbugs downstairs and there are mice just FuCKiNG EvErYwhErE!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYWHERE! EVERY FUCKING WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          I wake up in the morning and there’s mouse shit on my floor. Not just the edges of the room but in the goddamn fucking middle of it.  Info down stairs and what do I see on the kitchen counter as I go to get a drink for my meds and maybe make breakfast? That’s right goddamn fucking mouse shit. And no, not just along the edges. Right in the middle of the counter, of the stove, of the floor. Goddamn fucking mouse shit.

        I get my drink and whatever I can manage to get myself together enough to clean and prepare. That’s not usually much because I’m not doing well mentally right now or for a while and I just cannot deal with anything like a ton of fucking mouse shit everywhere. When I cannot mentally handle the cleaning task before me or the massive stress surrounding it without feeling like I’m going to break down completely, do you know what happens? My mind goes bloop, not there, not important, don’t notice this, onto other things. The more stressful it is, the quicker, more forcefully, and most thoroughly my mind does this to me.    

          But onto the dining room. As I am doing poorly mentally. I cannot be trusted to remember to take my medication in a timely fashion if at all. Time can turn into a purely theoretical concept for me when I’m not doing well. I can have no idea what time it is, what day it is, how much is time has passed. Somethings are assigned a particular time and it is important that it be done at that specific time with no exception (or that impression has been made upon me) such as medication, to the point of being a routine. If that routine is missed for whatever reason., Over sleeping, losing track of time, etc, the thought of the item that needed to be done is just no longer there and will probably not come back into my awareness until either the next day at the required time or it’s forcibly brought to my attention. I may not even remember missing it at all. So right now. I need them to come and give me my medication at the required time.

            This means at or around seven o’clock I. The morning every day I have to come down stairs and wait for them to come give me my medication. I never know when between seven and eight this is going to happen. Now I am not an impatient person. I know myself very well. I know exactly how restless I get having to wait with nothing to do and thus always have something to do when I might have to wait for something. The reason this waiting is a problem is because the dining room has metal chairs with cloth puffy sections on the seat and the back. It is so less than ten feet away from the living room couch  the living room couch is and probably always will be the center of every fucking bed bug infestation this house has ever had.

           I don’t know why. We never go anywhere. We never have any visitors except staff. Nobody but my two roommates ever sit on that goddamn sofa. But if I am sitting at the kitchen table for a prolonged period of time for any reason, I get the FUCK bitten out of me behind my knees and on the back of my lower thighs. As they are bedbugs this showed up hours later, but I know where I’ve been and I know what I’ve been doing and I know exactly what is happening to my goddamn legs.

          So I try like hell never to sit at that kitchen table for any length of time. Unfortunately I am also out of shape and losing my mind right now so sitting down and doing stuff on my tablet is my only real way to cope with the  waiting time right now. And with getting something of substance to eat for breakfast and not eating up in my room. Be cause crumbs and mice etc.

            It’d be the perfect morning routine for me to be honest. Get up, get dressed, go to the bathroom, come downstairs by seven, get food and water for meds. Eat and take meds, go back upstairs for whatever and be done my nine. Perfect, easy to handle, good for me. But not now because of the fucking mouse shit everywhere and the goddamn bed bugs. This leaves my frayed nerves even more on edge and screws up the rest of the day like nobody’s business.

           Of course that usually just means getting lost writing fiction or doing games on my tablet and watching TV. This is honestly my go to coping mechanism. It’s good as it keeps me occupied and not bothering anybody or doing anything harmful or disruptive.  It on the other hand there is no way to know just how badly my head is fucked up just by looking at me.  The stress/fear response actually has five aspects to it not just the first popular two. Fight Flight Freeze Tend Befriend. When it comes to my own anxiety I tend to FREEZE because with free floating generalized anxiety there’s nothing to fight, nothing to run away from and no one to tend or befreind that could help me get the frick out of this situation. I just have to endure it until it passes and not draw attention to myself so as to avoid external sources of stress that will make it worse.   The squeaky wheel may get the grease, but the squeaky mouse alerts the cat.

H

           This is a huge problem because I don’t draw attention to myself or my distress.  In fact, even if you know I do this it can be impossible to tell the severity of my situation. Often the biggest difference in terms of my level of stress when I’m frozen like this is entirely Internal. On the lower end it’s just mild distractability and stabdard hyper-focus. My mind is calm and focused on what I’m doing and if I’m interrupted, it’s just embarrassing.

            On the other end of the scale, though, every muscle in my body is tense and uncomfortable. Some part of my inner dialogue is running around in the back of my mind screaming. When I’m not medicated or the meds just don’t seem to be working right now, my mind/body just seems to start throwing biological urges at me trying to make me do something anything until I can find something that helps me get rid of my anxiety.

           This can be agonizing. With meds working, my most frequent bodily request is eat something Incredibly unhealthy and tasty. Without meds. I get that but I also get ‘have sex now!’ This is absolutely horrifying because I do NOT want to have sex, like in the worst way. Mostly because the thought of having sex with another actual sentient human person makes me feel like I’m craving sugar and being handed a freaking pack of black twizzlers and a Dr. Pepper.  In fact there is nothing sweet in the world but black twizzlers and Dr. Pepper unless I feel like making something myself. unfortunately all I can make are kickass chewy caramels. If you’ve ever tried making chewey caramels at home, you understand what my fat out of shape butt is saying here.

        *Side note I don’t prefer red twizzlers or anything, it’s just that I like black licorice ones the least. While I have been desperate enough to drink a Dr. Pepper I have never been desperate enough for sugar to eat freaking twizzlers.  And yes I have tried them.

#I kissed a twizzler and felt NOTHING. #I really wanted to though #because Dr. Pepper is just plain disgusting.

Anyways. I digress. I forget where from and where I was going. Right. Biological urges my body throws at me to try and get rid of my anxiety. Another frequent one is the desire to indulge in incoherent screaming and throwing things. This is always overruled. Another is hurt yourself in some (usually small) way to trigger a release of endorphins. Aka skin picking/excessive itching. The final one is to cry. This is often near impossible for me.

The signs and effects of bed bugs and mice everywhere quickly turn most of those urges into the desire to indulge in incoherent screaming and throwing things. This is the deep primal desire I most easily hold at bay. I can distract myself from it very easily. Unfortunately this only works so long as I remain undesturbed. When I am almost every interaction with another person in this state is triggered like a jump scare. The place I can stay relatively undisturbed is I. My bedroom, And in this goddamned house, that’s not even garunteed. God this is a fucking nightmare.

Posted in Behavior, Mental Health

Doing Stuff

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

I did something today. I put the soil i bought into the three cloth garden beds I bought and the 5 seedling containers I bought. I got pretty dirty and still have dirt in and around my fingernails no matter how much I scrubbed. But those will come out when I wash my hair like they usually do. Weird how washing my hair cleans my hands and nails so well.

It didn’t take long either. Maybe half an hour. I dunno. It’s something and more than I’ve gotten done in a while. I have to do some other stuff today. It’s one of my laundry days so much need to do some laundry. I also need to bring up my clean laundry from my last laundry day and put it and the clean laundry from the previous time away. My next laundry day is Sunday. Maybe I’ll just work on putting my laundry away.

I also put the dishes away. I haven’t been pulling my weight when it comes to the chores here. I don’t clean my bathroom or room enough and I haven’t cleaned the kitchen on my days in months. I haven’t even just wiped off the counters or put dirty dishes in the dishwasher when I see them like I used to. I haven’t really cooked in a long time either. I’m going to have to soon because I lost my EBT card. There’s plenty of food but nothing Quick and easy to eat.

It’s probably a good thing. Necessity forces me to do things that are good for me. Like the no food stamps is going to make me actually cook. I made my bed when I heard a worker come in the I thought was another worker who might check my room. No clean clothes forces me to do laundry. And I’m having my medication monitored so That forces me to be consistent with it, which is very good for me.

It’s hard doing things. Even getting bored with everything else I usually do doesn’t help me do things I should do. There’s alot of things to do too. I can assemble my new desk and desk chair. I can clean the fridge which desperately needs cleaning. I haven’t done it in a while and my roommates suck at it. I need to clean the bathroom. I can plant seeds in the little seedling containers I got so they can start growing and I can maybe get some fresh veggies and stuff later this year.

I guess there’s alot I can do that would be good for me. Including a dancing game on my new Xbox and reading in my new hammock (so comfy). Or just relaxing and listening to music on it. Taking a shower definitely. It’s just kind of hard to get out of bed, you know. I feel heavy and tires and don’t see the point in much of anything.

I keep forgetting that immediate gratification is a reason to do stuff. Most of these things will make me feel better immediately. It feels selfish though to think that way. Doing things that make me feel good right away seems somehow wrong. Though it’s hard to find things that do. Even my games are less enjoyable than they are just distracting. The same with junk food after a certain point.

I want to spend some time with my boys. I don’t have the energy to play games or really interact too much. I kind of want to ask them to sing me a song or tell me a story just so I can hear their voices. That seems kind of silly to me. I mean I’m supposed to do that for them. I might ask anyways. At least they won’t feel neglected, you know or that I don’t want to be around them or something.

Maybe I can just have myself Do Things twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. That doesn’t seem too overwhelming. Maybe. I’m not sure what should count as Doing Things. I’ll figure it out, I guess.

Posted in Behavior, Uncategorized

How I Deal With Waiting

Posted on by rsfahrudeen

I have a hard time being patient sometimes. For me those times are accompanied by being stuck in a situation where I have nothing to do but wait. And I mean literally nothing to do. I end up frustrated and feeling like my time is being wasted. So what I try to do is always have something on me that I could do to occupy my mind.
That could be e-books mindless games, some way to work on my blogs and my goals, clearing my emails, doing my affirmations, working on improving my skills. When you can fill the time you have to spend waiting with something either entertaining or productive, you can find it much easier to bear the time between then and what you want.

If it helps you can make a list of little things you can do while waiting to help further your work or other goals, like paying bills online, clearing out your emails, things like that. You can even just take the time to research something related to your goals.
This is true for either short-term waiting or long-term waiting. Mindfulness is also a useful tool for these situations. Meditation, guided imagery and breathing exercises can help to both occupy your time and help you to remain calm. Daydreaming is also useful in these situations. But most of all there’s radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance is when you stop fighting against things you can’t control, like traffic, the lateness of another party, weather delays, the speed of the DMV and accept that this is just how it’s going to be. Then you can shift your focus from fervently willing things to go faster, to finding ways to occupy your time. This also helps when your phone and internet stops working ( usually a recipe for instant panic.)It enables you to move on to the next thing without wasting time on regret.

When you see me sitting quietly, calmly, just waiting without concern for whatever I’m waiting for, all this is why.